Why can’t I stop thinking about you?

Why can’t I stop thinking about you? I know I made it up in my mind, I know it’s not possible. 

Prior to your visit last year my friend said that you’d be perfect for me, I think this is where my mind got the idea. You were so nice and spent all of your time with me instead of the friend that you were visiting. But it ended, you went home and I thought nothing of it. Fast forward a year and you were back. You were visiting again and were just as attractive, nice and awkward as you were the first time. I took you caressing my face and rubbing my back instead of trying to sleep with me as a good sign. It showed me that you were kind and not like the other guys that just wanted to get laid. We talked for hours about our futures, our interests and our families. But both times we met you were drunk and I was nervous. Ever since that weekend I have wondered what if…

What if you’d visit again? What if we ran into each other at your school? What if we happened to be at the same concert this summer? What if I could just tell you that I wish I had flirted just a bit more, that I danced with you at the bar, that I wish I had told you I was interested?

I’ve made up so many scenarios in my head as to how we’d meet again. Silly I know, seeing as we’ve only met twice. It just seemed perfect, you were going to university in my home town, your friends were my friends, we had so many common interests. But maybe it was too perfect and maybe I’m just a lonely dreamer. Your intoxication and our only having met two times convinces me that I made it all up and that we’ll never meet again. 

Why can’t I stop thinking about you? After all these months why can’t I just let you go? 

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