Do you ever watch a movie and it just clicks something in your head? I watched a movie called The Summer of 8 the other night and click is exactly what happened. Here’s what developed in my confusing mind:
How can the life be so insanely scary, but so exciting at the same time? I want to curl up and cry half the time but the moments where I feel like dancing, spinning around in circles and screaming make up for it. Why does it have to be like this? Why do I have to be so afraid all the time? Of what I’ve done, of what I can or should do, of what might happen? I don’t want to regret anything, but life makes it seem like everything has to be perfect. But we can’t control anything. We can’t control the way others react, the weather, how fast time seems. We can only control how we feel and what we do. That’s pretty scary. Why can’t we just do whatever to make us happy at the time, embrace what’s happening. Tomorrow’s coming no matter what. I don’t know why I spend so much time worrying about what has happened and what will happen when life will inevitably move on. Life continues everyday until death. We should enjoy it. We can stop being so afraid. We can embrace now.